SECURITY, RAPE AND INVITATIONS

From Survival Guide for People living with Asperger's Syndrome

by Marc Segar

Invitation

It is bad manners to turn up at someone else's house uninvited unless they have said "come round any time" in which case they could mean about once a month or they could mean every other day depending on many different things. On the other hand, it can sometimes be difficult to know what constitutes an invitation.

It is often best to phone first before turning up at someone's house.

In some settings e.g. student halls, the rules are slightly different, because people are often running in and out of each others flats anyway. None the less, still be careful.

An invitation to a party does NOT mean that you have to go if you don't want to.

If you gate-crash a party with more than 20 people but keep a low profile, nobody should mind.

It is sometimes difficult to know whether or not you are overstaying your welcome at some one else's house or whether they would like you to stay longer. If they say they are feeling tired then this might be a gentle hint that they want you to go. If they are smiling, giving you plenty of eye contact and showing an interest in the conversation, they probably want you to stay.

Personal security

It is best for anyone, male or female, to avoid walking alone late at night down deserted or badly lit streets but here are some tips for protecting yourself.

Always make sure your wallet is out of sight.

You may do well to look over your shoulder every now and then.

Don't look down, look straight ahead.

Look like you know where you're going and show no fear.

Following these guide-lines will make you look less vulnerable and more able to defend yourself.

If someone threatens you and you start running, just keep on running.

If it is too late or you are unable to run, let them have your wallet if they ask for it. This is a small price to pay for your personal security.

If they take your wallet, cancel all your credit cards as soon as possible and get them replaced.

Never try and bargain or reason with your mugger(s).

Finally, ALWAYS phone your mum or dad and let them know if you've decided to stay the night at someone else's house or they will probably be so worried they will call the police to search for you.

Rape crisis

In the unfortunate event that you might ever be on the receiving end of a sexual attack, it is probably a good idea to scream at the top of your voice before the attacker gets the chance to threaten you to be silent.

The police do advise women to carry rape alarms with them just in case.

Most rape victims know their attackers. What's more, most rapes do not happen on the streets.

If it has already happened to you, you are NOT the only one, it is NOT your fault and if you tell the right people they WILL believe you.

If a simple "no" is not enough, then what the hell is.

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