USING THE PHONE AND LOOKING AFTER GUESTS

From Survival Guide for People living with Asperger's Syndrome

by Marc Segar

Using the phone

Always answer the phone in a clear, polite but relaxed voice.

When speaking on the phone, it can be quite a relief to know that body language and eye contact are no longer important, but tone of voice and clarity of speech become more important.

If someone asks to talk to someone else, ask politely "who is it?" to get their name and then say "ok, I'll just go and look for them". This will give the other person the opportunity to ask "who is it?" and perhaps to say "tell them I'm not in" in the event that it's someone they would rather not speak to.

If that person is not in you may be asked to take a message in which case if you think you might not be able to remember to pass it on you MUST write it down and leave it somewhere near the phone.

When phoning other people, you don't want to phone too early in the day or too late at night. This might mean having to be very patient. If you wish to phone someone you have met on a night out who you fancy, it is important not to phone them too soon after meeting them. It is best to leave it at least a day.

Guests

When you have a friend round or when you go to visit someone else through invitation, or even if you are living with a friend, there are a number of points which are useful to know.

It is usually the responsibility of the host to offer the guest a drink. The guest shouldn't have to ask.

Sometimes you have to put a little bit of effort into making a guest feel welcome.

Try to avoid situations in which the other person might feel slightly "cornered" either physically or verbally. Well, at least until you know them quite well.

Try to avoid situations in which you unexpectedly leave a friend or a guest on their own.

Knowing when to say goodbye is a difficult process which can sometimes involve people dropping gentle hints or jokes about chucking the other person out. If you don't pick up on the message early enough then it can sometimes create tension. However, a laugh and a smile can often make the goodbye process much more graceful.

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